•July 18, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I’ve forgotten how to believe. i don’t know what I’ve lost, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I can’t find my way.

it’s a miracle

•May 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

with so many differing points of view and opinions i’m surprised we all have made it this far

•March 18, 2010 • Leave a Comment

why is it some days I think some people must be so much happier than I am. Why do I care how happy someone else is anyway. I have to stop being afraid of myself and do what I NEED to do. I have to do what my needs tell me to.

I can’t say goodbye

•February 25, 2010 • Leave a Comment

My grandfather passed away this past weekend. I wasn’t sure how to take it, tears came, but I wasn’t sad. At 88 he was a strong man, a funny man, a great man. It’s been a few days now and I’ve pondered things, questioned life and found the best way to mourn is to create something, so I created that little poem (click the number 88 back there) out of nowhere. It just came out. I realized that I don’t have to be sad and mournful of loss. Circumstances and situations create an energy in all of us and we have to deal with that energy. I’ve never liked the traditional standard of funerals with casket, viewing and eulogy. but I also can’t see a full blown party happening.
I consider that little poem a personal eulogy (or elegy as I think it becomes as it is a poem dedication) to my grandpa and share it with so many more people in today’s world.
That being said, it’s never going to be easy dealing with loss.

•February 11, 2010 • Leave a Comment

fuck you world. fuck you.

•January 30, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I’ve burned a few bridges in my time, as the saying goes that is not actual bridges. And I’m very good and guilting myself the blame for said burnings.

Why  do I do that? Why does anyone do that? Do I even really know what it means? Is it worth rebuilding them?

I wonder too much about missed chances and could haves or would haves and regrets. How does one get over that? Stop looking backwards and over my shoulder. Stop assuming everyone thinks I’m a jerk. Stop running away.

•September 24, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I often wonder what makes us go on. What makes us wake the next day and drive us. Most days I want to scream against the world but how has it wronged me? is it the world or is it me?